Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Turtle problems.
I have a turtle named Bob a Red eared slider. She (all turtles from Petco are apparently female.) lived in my Koi Pond. I was forced to move her when she began ignoring the cheap, ten cent feeder fish and began attacking the expensive Koi. At this point I made the error of assigning human emotions to a turtle and decided she was sad. So to rectify this and set my conscience at ease, I dug out another area, got the filters, liners pumps and installed a brand new "turtle pond".
She seemed lonely. I got her friends. Steve, Joe, Jill and Sammy. I assumed this would make Bob happy and it seemed to for awhile.
Bob killed Steve, can't make this shit up.
Bob seems to be a bit of an asshole at this point.
I don't know if you've ever observed turtles. I know never really had until I had six of 'em living in a fancy hole on the side of my house. They just kinda nip at each other every once and while. It seems harmless enough, they're turtles. I try not to read too much into it.
So they nip? So what? They nip, then nip again, then I notice there is no "they" doing the nipping at all. It's just Bob. I see the little fucker cruise up behind her pond mates and bite at the exposed flesh at the rear of their shells, the turtle ass I guess you'd call it. She keeps doing this, the other turtles swim away- Steve swam away, she'd chase, nip, nip, nip.
Then whadda know? Steve don't look so good. "How ya doing buddy" that's about all I can do, that and get Steve the hell away from Bob, so Steve goes in with the Koi. Problem sloved.... not so much. Come out one day and Steve is upside down at the bottom of the Koi Pond. So sad, need to bury Steve but it' like the Holy Grail "I'm not quite dead yet." At this point I'm really torn because a turtle is like fifteen bucks and the Vet is shall we say- more. I'm trying not to feel like a piece of crap with a half dead, limp turtle in my hand but there's no way to do it. This guy is doomed. Do I take a hammer to him and end it? Enter my wife, thankfully.
We (she) opt for the Vet. I feel a little better, even though I know I could have just bought a entire new turtle for less than I paid to walk out of the animal hospital with a half dead, used one. Turtle has sepsis, I have to give it shots. I'm gonna heal wounded animal!! "It's us versus God little guy!"
Long story short- God wins.
So, every mooring I go out onto the side of my house drink my coffee, smoke a couple cigarettes and enjoy the sounds from my water fall. Koi over here- turtles over there.
Ever notice that the shape of a turtle's scull gives in an inherent smile? Actually it's more of a grin. I know I'm doing that thing again where I find human traits in my turtles but I swear Bob is floating over there just grinning at me, very please with herself. Malice in the little turtle grin says "that's right, I murdered him and there aint shit you can do about it." Worst part about that is, the little fucker is right. I can't pull a pet out of my pond and kill it because it's grinning at me. Am I fucking insane?
So, Joe then Jill are next. You can't make this shit up.
I think I've got a serial killer on my hands, I should really lodge a complaint about this with Petco. "Petco, home of serial killing Pets." Or maybe it's should be a complaint about suicidal turtles. It saw the same flesh wounds on the theses two that killed the last one. I watched Bob follow them around and nip, and nip and nip. Nip. Nip.Nip. So what do I do? I take my newly injured turtles and throw 'em in with the Koi before it gets really bad. Whadda they do? Escape!! Escape and go home, to hang out with Serial Bob.
I moved Bob too, she did the same thing, was back by the next day. Nipping.
I dunno. Maybe Bob has a problem with Turtle Drugs and Turtle alcohol or maybe the Hindu's were right and somehow Jeffery Dahmer is swimming around in my Koi Pond.
I just try to keep reminding myself what a first world problem this is. Image some kid in Somalia hearing me whine about this crap while he starves to death in a puddle of shit. First off, he'd eat the fucking turtles, all of 'em, all the Koi too.
I'll Blog if more turtles die.
She seemed lonely. I got her friends. Steve, Joe, Jill and Sammy. I assumed this would make Bob happy and it seemed to for awhile.
Bob killed Steve, can't make this shit up.
Bob seems to be a bit of an asshole at this point.
I don't know if you've ever observed turtles. I know never really had until I had six of 'em living in a fancy hole on the side of my house. They just kinda nip at each other every once and while. It seems harmless enough, they're turtles. I try not to read too much into it.
So they nip? So what? They nip, then nip again, then I notice there is no "they" doing the nipping at all. It's just Bob. I see the little fucker cruise up behind her pond mates and bite at the exposed flesh at the rear of their shells, the turtle ass I guess you'd call it. She keeps doing this, the other turtles swim away- Steve swam away, she'd chase, nip, nip, nip.
Then whadda know? Steve don't look so good. "How ya doing buddy" that's about all I can do, that and get Steve the hell away from Bob, so Steve goes in with the Koi. Problem sloved.... not so much. Come out one day and Steve is upside down at the bottom of the Koi Pond. So sad, need to bury Steve but it' like the Holy Grail "I'm not quite dead yet." At this point I'm really torn because a turtle is like fifteen bucks and the Vet is shall we say- more. I'm trying not to feel like a piece of crap with a half dead, limp turtle in my hand but there's no way to do it. This guy is doomed. Do I take a hammer to him and end it? Enter my wife, thankfully.
We (she) opt for the Vet. I feel a little better, even though I know I could have just bought a entire new turtle for less than I paid to walk out of the animal hospital with a half dead, used one. Turtle has sepsis, I have to give it shots. I'm gonna heal wounded animal!! "It's us versus God little guy!"
Long story short- God wins.
So, every mooring I go out onto the side of my house drink my coffee, smoke a couple cigarettes and enjoy the sounds from my water fall. Koi over here- turtles over there.
Ever notice that the shape of a turtle's scull gives in an inherent smile? Actually it's more of a grin. I know I'm doing that thing again where I find human traits in my turtles but I swear Bob is floating over there just grinning at me, very please with herself. Malice in the little turtle grin says "that's right, I murdered him and there aint shit you can do about it." Worst part about that is, the little fucker is right. I can't pull a pet out of my pond and kill it because it's grinning at me. Am I fucking insane?
So, Joe then Jill are next. You can't make this shit up.
I think I've got a serial killer on my hands, I should really lodge a complaint about this with Petco. "Petco, home of serial killing Pets." Or maybe it's should be a complaint about suicidal turtles. It saw the same flesh wounds on the theses two that killed the last one. I watched Bob follow them around and nip, and nip and nip. Nip. Nip.Nip. So what do I do? I take my newly injured turtles and throw 'em in with the Koi before it gets really bad. Whadda they do? Escape!! Escape and go home, to hang out with Serial Bob.
I moved Bob too, she did the same thing, was back by the next day. Nipping.
I dunno. Maybe Bob has a problem with Turtle Drugs and Turtle alcohol or maybe the Hindu's were right and somehow Jeffery Dahmer is swimming around in my Koi Pond.
I just try to keep reminding myself what a first world problem this is. Image some kid in Somalia hearing me whine about this crap while he starves to death in a puddle of shit. First off, he'd eat the fucking turtles, all of 'em, all the Koi too.
I'll Blog if more turtles die.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Green screen and the hulk.
Just a thought. I was planning on doing a little stop animation thing using a Hulk action figure and a green screen. I really didn't think that through.
Monday, June 22, 2015
Rendering, Comics and Stephen King
So I'm back,
I've got some awfully large video files in final cut rendering right now which has allowed me to return to the Stephen King portion of my comic book epic.
I've recently discovered the gunslinger series. The comics, I read all the Dark Tower books years ago. It was one of those moments that can happen to you in the corner comic book store. When you happen across a little treasure. It might be a worthless piece of crap to anyone else but to you in the Hope diamond. I found that in the gunslinger comics, the tales of Roland had yet to end.
Me and Stephen King go back aways. I've read just about everything he's ever written, and have been reading him since I was a kid. Really, a pretty young kid.
I found early on that my ole man was a reader, we got him books for birthdays and Christmas and, and, and- to tell the truth us kids just got lazy and we seldom gave him anything other than a books now that I think of it. But he read them, sitting on the couch, cigarette smoldering in the ashtray beside him with a novel in front of his nose. He's a man who loves a good story and he wanted thete kids to be that way as well. First book I ever read was the Hobbit. I asked my Dad, "hey, whattcha reading" and he handed it right off to me. I was far too young and struggled all the way through it. Skipped the Elven crap, didn't follow half the story but muscled my way through and in doing so I learned something about the old man. he didn't care what we were reading as long as we read. Think about it, there was some dark crap in the hobbit novel for a little kid. Lot's of violence and nightmarish imagery.
So I tried my luck, Edgar Allen Poe, no worries, the old man liked that I was reading, Bram Stoker, check, The Shining- Fuck yeah! One day my Mother pointed out that I was reading that horrible Stephen King to my father and the response was music to my ears. "Leave him alone he's reading, a lot worse things he could be getting into."
Full discloser the Shinning ended up scaring the living shit outta' me, Jack Torrance was a man with some issues. But let's set that aside. I was young, like Danny's age and I could read what I considered near porn right in front of my parents! It was pretty cool. There was all sorts of violence, creatures that go bump in the night and even sex hidden between the front and back covers. I even got a copy of misery for Christmas from my Mom. It was a glorious time. Me and Mister King go back aways. and I'll continue to read everything the man puts out; I am a constant reader.
Now I find there are comics. They are a shitload of fun even though not written directly by King himself. I'd assume he oversees the process from somewhere in the higher levels of his own Dark Tower in Maine. They represent a visual silmarillion, filling in the blanks that were left behind in Roland's wake as he trudged through the wastelands of a world that has moved on.
I hear tell of a graphic Novel entitled "N" that I've yet to find, perhaps a another trip to a different store will unearth it. Someday....
I've got some awfully large video files in final cut rendering right now which has allowed me to return to the Stephen King portion of my comic book epic.
I've recently discovered the gunslinger series. The comics, I read all the Dark Tower books years ago. It was one of those moments that can happen to you in the corner comic book store. When you happen across a little treasure. It might be a worthless piece of crap to anyone else but to you in the Hope diamond. I found that in the gunslinger comics, the tales of Roland had yet to end.
Me and Stephen King go back aways. I've read just about everything he's ever written, and have been reading him since I was a kid. Really, a pretty young kid.
I found early on that my ole man was a reader, we got him books for birthdays and Christmas and, and, and- to tell the truth us kids just got lazy and we seldom gave him anything other than a books now that I think of it. But he read them, sitting on the couch, cigarette smoldering in the ashtray beside him with a novel in front of his nose. He's a man who loves a good story and he wanted thete kids to be that way as well. First book I ever read was the Hobbit. I asked my Dad, "hey, whattcha reading" and he handed it right off to me. I was far too young and struggled all the way through it. Skipped the Elven crap, didn't follow half the story but muscled my way through and in doing so I learned something about the old man. he didn't care what we were reading as long as we read. Think about it, there was some dark crap in the hobbit novel for a little kid. Lot's of violence and nightmarish imagery.
So I tried my luck, Edgar Allen Poe, no worries, the old man liked that I was reading, Bram Stoker, check, The Shining- Fuck yeah! One day my Mother pointed out that I was reading that horrible Stephen King to my father and the response was music to my ears. "Leave him alone he's reading, a lot worse things he could be getting into."
Full discloser the Shinning ended up scaring the living shit outta' me, Jack Torrance was a man with some issues. But let's set that aside. I was young, like Danny's age and I could read what I considered near porn right in front of my parents! It was pretty cool. There was all sorts of violence, creatures that go bump in the night and even sex hidden between the front and back covers. I even got a copy of misery for Christmas from my Mom. It was a glorious time. Me and Mister King go back aways. and I'll continue to read everything the man puts out; I am a constant reader.
Now I find there are comics. They are a shitload of fun even though not written directly by King himself. I'd assume he oversees the process from somewhere in the higher levels of his own Dark Tower in Maine. They represent a visual silmarillion, filling in the blanks that were left behind in Roland's wake as he trudged through the wastelands of a world that has moved on.
I hear tell of a graphic Novel entitled "N" that I've yet to find, perhaps a another trip to a different store will unearth it. Someday....
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Tweekerville: Secret Wars at home and in the galaxy #2
Tweekerville: Secret Wars at home and in the galaxy #2: Okay I'm back. Where was I? That's right, free comic book day. "No idea I answered." He gave me the rundown, ha...
Secret Wars at home and in the galaxy #2
Okay I'm back. Where was I?
That's right, free comic book day. "No idea I answered." He gave me the rundown, half priced back issues, propmotional books for free from the biggies (Marvel DC ext.)
Save the date, consider it saved.
Needless to say I spent a few bucks on "free comic book day" when it finally rolled around. This did not sit well with my wife. As soon as I got back she began to ask how much I'd spent that day. "What did I get?", " Why did I get it?", "Do you really need those?" This of course brings us to the secret wars at home portion of our little tale.
This was a very strange development in my life. My wife rarely gives me a hard time about anything. We are VERY happily married, no issues, but this addition of a handful of comic books seemed to bit of a pebble in her shoe. It's wasn't the money, I mean, we're not rich but I've certainly got enough that I can piss a few dollars away on comic books once a week. (I've discovered the "pull list") I did the math and I spend more money on a weekly basis on cigarettes and coffee than I do on comics. So what was it? What had changed?
Here's my best guess... if anyone's reading maybe you could chime in. When my wife and I met years ago she was bar-tending, putting away money for her master's degree and I was a bouncer at the same night club. I also did some personal security work at the times to help with the bills. Shortly after we met, we kissed, began dating, became happy, became happier, she left the club to pursue her MBA and a paid internship with Morgan Stanley while I also stepped away from night club life and began working with a military and tactical firm (Strictly for film and Television.) having fake firefights and chasing Jack Bauer around.
Her internship turned into a full time position and she encouraged me to elevate myself within the company I work for, which I did. Leap of faith time, I invested, became part owner and things are awesome. We get the house, joint bank accounts, rings and then said "I do." (I know, we did backwards, wanted her to graduate so no homework on the honeymoon.) Happily ever after right? Pretty much. Honestly, her new found annoyance with the comics is not really bad, not at all. It's just the only thing- I know I'm lucky.
So? What's the issue? Again, best guess.
She met and married 1st a bouncer, executive protection detail guy, who then works at a military tactical firm, then becomes management above hundreds of military operators. Kind of a paradigm shift when that guy starts coming home with comic books aint it? From Jason Bourne to Sheldon Cooper overnight. I can see why she's upset.
If I came home and told me she was burning her MBA and volunteering for Hilary for America I think I'd need to pull a "double take" as well.
So I toned it down a bit. Cut my comic pull list down to Deadpool, planet hulk, Secret Wars- oh yeah Secret wars! Remember the fast forward button I was talking about earlier? A lot happened between issue 252 and now and I don't know what the hell is going on.... but I like it.
First off doctor Doom is now a GOD!? Okay, fine, I remember he almost pulled it off in the original Secret Wars story line, so I can buy that somewhere in the past twenty years he was actually able to pull it off. There are dozens of Thor's and none of them are the original guy... okay. There seems to be two or three of everybody, Spiderman, Reed Richards, Sue Richards dies right away then pops back up Hanging with Doctor Doom. What else don't I get? How bout- multiple hulks- Grey hulks with Mohawks. The "Fantastic kids", the creepy offspring for Reed and Sue- who may or may not be dead. I think Peter Parker is dead or has morphed into an hispanic dude. Oh! when did wolverine Die!!! Wait, he might not be dead, let me walk over here, what's this "old man Logan"?
Long story short I'm loving it Quietly. as I write this the wife thinks I'm doing research between the FN-200 and HK 416 assault rifles. What a lovely Day.
I also stumbled across another thing.... Stephen King comics. Oh dear lord, what a lovely day. Mr. King will have to have an entire entry dedicated to him... next up, maybe tomorrow.
Later...
That's right, free comic book day. "No idea I answered." He gave me the rundown, half priced back issues, propmotional books for free from the biggies (Marvel DC ext.)
Save the date, consider it saved.
Needless to say I spent a few bucks on "free comic book day" when it finally rolled around. This did not sit well with my wife. As soon as I got back she began to ask how much I'd spent that day. "What did I get?", " Why did I get it?", "Do you really need those?" This of course brings us to the secret wars at home portion of our little tale.
This was a very strange development in my life. My wife rarely gives me a hard time about anything. We are VERY happily married, no issues, but this addition of a handful of comic books seemed to bit of a pebble in her shoe. It's wasn't the money, I mean, we're not rich but I've certainly got enough that I can piss a few dollars away on comic books once a week. (I've discovered the "pull list") I did the math and I spend more money on a weekly basis on cigarettes and coffee than I do on comics. So what was it? What had changed?
Here's my best guess... if anyone's reading maybe you could chime in. When my wife and I met years ago she was bar-tending, putting away money for her master's degree and I was a bouncer at the same night club. I also did some personal security work at the times to help with the bills. Shortly after we met, we kissed, began dating, became happy, became happier, she left the club to pursue her MBA and a paid internship with Morgan Stanley while I also stepped away from night club life and began working with a military and tactical firm (Strictly for film and Television.) having fake firefights and chasing Jack Bauer around.
Her internship turned into a full time position and she encouraged me to elevate myself within the company I work for, which I did. Leap of faith time, I invested, became part owner and things are awesome. We get the house, joint bank accounts, rings and then said "I do." (I know, we did backwards, wanted her to graduate so no homework on the honeymoon.) Happily ever after right? Pretty much. Honestly, her new found annoyance with the comics is not really bad, not at all. It's just the only thing- I know I'm lucky.
So? What's the issue? Again, best guess.
She met and married 1st a bouncer, executive protection detail guy, who then works at a military tactical firm, then becomes management above hundreds of military operators. Kind of a paradigm shift when that guy starts coming home with comic books aint it? From Jason Bourne to Sheldon Cooper overnight. I can see why she's upset.
If I came home and told me she was burning her MBA and volunteering for Hilary for America I think I'd need to pull a "double take" as well.
So I toned it down a bit. Cut my comic pull list down to Deadpool, planet hulk, Secret Wars- oh yeah Secret wars! Remember the fast forward button I was talking about earlier? A lot happened between issue 252 and now and I don't know what the hell is going on.... but I like it.
First off doctor Doom is now a GOD!? Okay, fine, I remember he almost pulled it off in the original Secret Wars story line, so I can buy that somewhere in the past twenty years he was actually able to pull it off. There are dozens of Thor's and none of them are the original guy... okay. There seems to be two or three of everybody, Spiderman, Reed Richards, Sue Richards dies right away then pops back up Hanging with Doctor Doom. What else don't I get? How bout- multiple hulks- Grey hulks with Mohawks. The "Fantastic kids", the creepy offspring for Reed and Sue- who may or may not be dead. I think Peter Parker is dead or has morphed into an hispanic dude. Oh! when did wolverine Die!!! Wait, he might not be dead, let me walk over here, what's this "old man Logan"?
Long story short I'm loving it Quietly. as I write this the wife thinks I'm doing research between the FN-200 and HK 416 assault rifles. What a lovely Day.
I also stumbled across another thing.... Stephen King comics. Oh dear lord, what a lovely day. Mr. King will have to have an entire entry dedicated to him... next up, maybe tomorrow.
Later...
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